DAYS

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY...

... ya assholes.

End this. Now.

DAYS OFF
In case you haven't noticed, I've decided to take some time off. I've decided to tend to weightier matters for a while. I'm tired of toiling in the inconsequential world of foreign policy, diplomacy, politics and warfare. No, it's time to pay heed to something that truly matters in this world: College Basketball.



Because I'm tired of assholes who can't play nice together.

I'll be back in time for the primaries. Keep fighting the power y'all.

WHAT A FREAKIN' TURKEY
(Bramhall, Daily News)

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone. Enjoy your humble pie George.

THINK HE GOT LEIED?
Um, ewwww. This is going to make it really difficult to keep the pumpkin pie down on Thursday. Really, really difficult.

Must've thought it was Merkel.

Man, that is so wrong... on so many levels. Gotta go rinse off now.

BUT, BUT, WAIT...


But, but, wait... didn't all you Republicans poo-poo as utter nonsense the idea that your cozy relationships with Big Oil had everything to do with gas prices magically lowering just before the elections? Why then, all of a sudden, are prices on the rise again?

'Maybe no one will remember this...'

But, but, wait John... didn't you say just a few years back that the Jerry Falwells of the world are 'agents of intolerance'. So then why are you hiring his people now? And hey, didn't you also say something about offing yourself if the Dems won the election? Seriously, why are you still on this mortal coil? Mr. Straight Talk my ass.

'Yes, but it's your fault for believing me...'

But, but wait Unca Dick... didn't you say that the escalating violence in Iraq these last few months was simply a result of the terrorists trying to influence our elections? Since those elections are over, how come the violence has continued to rage? How come 75 bodies were found over the last 24 hours in Baghdad? How come 112 people were killed there yesterday? How come we're seeing mass kidnappings? Huh Unca Dick, what's that all about?


Over the weekend, a morgue worker tends to body bags is Baquba, Iraq, in the province of Diyala, east of Baghdad. In April there were four civilian homicides a day, and now there are ten a day.

But, but wait, Georgie... didn't you say...

'Then they made me put on a dress!'

Oh, who cares what you say. Are you still talking? Seriously, just StFU already.

ME THINKS 'THUMPING' WAS A EUPHEMISM
You've got something on your face.

Preznit McLoser just can't catch a break, can he? It was a rough week, to say the least. I almost feel bad... but then I remember I pretty much hate the guy. And then I laugh. The electorate smashed him at the polls, his critics repeatedly battered him, even his own party managed to pop him a few times. These beatings, of course, are only figurative. This one, however, was not:

President Bush's wax likeness is taking a thumpin' these days at Madame Tussaud's celebrity waxworks in Las Vegas. Bush's head suffered about $25,000 in damages when a Madame Tussaud's visitor attacked it."This was the most damage" to one of the wax figures, Jack Taylor, spokesman for the museum, said. "People are always touching them, but this was pretty rare."

Who ever said Bush couldn't accomplish anything? He's got the title for 'Most Beat Down Wax Figure in History' yo! So shut up, ya mofos.

And it gets worse. The official Democratic Senate Proctologist, Henry Waxman, is stretching on the rubber gloves and getting ready for an extremely thorough probing. Only problem? There's so much shit, he doesn't even know where to begin. Meanwhile, W's former Neocronies are trying to slink out the back door, throwing daggers at his back as they do. Still others are twisting the knife in over the timing of the Rumsfeld firing.

And then there are the polls. The latest numbers on King Decider's popularity create cause for a revival of our efforts to inform the Preznit in a simple, easy-to-understand manner of just how unpopular he is. Hey Loser, take a look...

From way downtown. Bang.

Got it? And no, that doesn't mean it's Miller Time. Seriously sir, lay off the sauce.

Lastly, since we're on the subject of polls, everyone catch this one?

An MSNBC online poll shows that the overwhelming majority of its participating voters believe President Bush should be impeached. The poll asked the question, "Do you believe President Bush's actions justify impeachment?" Of nearly 360,000 people who had voted, 87 percent responded "Yes." (thx D-Ren)

Oh snap. I know it's unscientific and all, but goddam that's unpopular. Loser.

(thx Ash!)

MORE
Worker #3116: We Did It!
Our Manifesto: Right Was Right
The Prez is my Friend: Crrrrrap!
Morford: Eleven New and Happy Things
Colbert: Special Memories of a Special Majority
MediaNeedle: Journey to the Bottom of the Polls

AHHHH, MEMORIES
Laughing at the exiting Republicans never seems to get old, does it?



Nope, sure doesn't.

STAND DOWN SIR
My goodness...

GOP officials: Rumsfeld stepping down

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld, architect of an unpopular war in Iraq, intends to resign after six stormy years at the Pentagon, Republican officials said Wednesday. Officials said Robert Gates, former head of the CIA, would replace Rumsfeld.

The development occurred one day after congressional elections that cost Republicans control of the House of Representatives, and possibly the Senate as well. Surveys of voters at polling places said opposition to the war was a significant contributor to the Democratic Party's victory.

Good riddance, ya crazy old fucker. Better get your suit ready for the Hague.



'As we know, there are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns. That is to say, we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don't know we don't know.' -- D. Rumsfeld, February '02

Hey, you know what I know? You're toast pal. Don't let the door hit you in the ass.

WHAT'S UP, YA BIG LOSER?
'Hey, where'd my mandate go?'

Don't worry Preznit Asshat...



... he's still around. And he has a lot more free time on his hands now.

Hells yeah, bitchez. This feels sooooo much better than '04. You're on an island now, ya big loser. Just you, your vapid wife, crazy Unca Dick, and your little dog too. Have fun with all that.



'I'm told this has never happened before in the modern history of American politics. Spin that, President Shrub.' -- Billmon

ELECTION GOODNESS
FDL: Meet the Losers
The General: Little Green Throbbing Veins
SadlyNo: As they listen for an echo, I only hear a roar
NYO: The No-Win Zone (A gloomy night for FOX News)

HUGE NEWS!!
America has spoken. The people have expressed a strong desire to rid itself of shoddy, no-talent performers and lazy, do-nothing slobs. Yes, the constituents have spoken, and the will of the people is finally being served. It is with great excitement that I'm able to report the following:

Britney Spears divorcing Kevin Federline

Hallelujah and Amen. Maybe now, America can finally get back on track.

Oh, and the Dems have recaptured the House. That's good news too.



Congratulations. Now get to work... you've got lots to do.

CAN'T WAIT FOR ELECTION DAY
He has reason to sweat.

It would be completely understandable for someone to be a bit jaded about the U.S. election system. What some have tried to claim as our ‘greatest export’ has been nothing short of a shambles in recent efforts, from hanging chads in Florida to midnight lines and voter suppression in Ohio. On top of that, there's been an unbelievable stench of corruption and incompetence, even by political standards, rising from the swamp that is our nation's capital these past 6+ years. It’s easy to understand skepticism, hesitancy or disinterest amongst the voting public.

But for me, watching the Rethugs flail about in panic these last few weeks has been great fun. The desperate last gasps and hail marys of this den of thieves has been truly inspiring. They've got nothing, and it shows. They tried to roll out gay marriage again, but to no avail. This weekend’s outing of supreme evangelical mobilizer Pastor Ted as a closeted meth fiend exposed the GOP base as a lost flock led by immoral hypocrites. Not the greatest of motivators. They also attempted to use their favorite liberal punching bag, John Kerry, and his ‘botched joke’ as motivation, but last I checked Kerry wasn’t on the ballot. Keith Olbermann offers up the definitive response to that malarkey right here.

Shameless. Republican. (h/t D-Ren)

And of course, they’ve used their favorite tactic of painting Democrats as weak, Osama-loving terrorist sympathizers who will hand-deliver a dirty bomb to each and every one of our living rooms if we let them win. But even that doesn’t seem to be working. Finally, it appears the citizenry has sniffed out the bullshit these guys have been serving for so long. We’ll find out for sure tomorrow.

It’s time for these guys to go. This is why I can’t wait for Election Day.

Bush was out on the stump all last week, to the chagrin of most of the candidates he went to support I might add, making the audacious claim that if the Democrats prevail, the terrorists win and America loses. Then, not a day later, he had the temerity to say he doesn't like the divisive tone in Washington these days. This from a guy, and a party, that has put some of the most despicable, divisive, incendiary rhetoric onto the airwaves the last few days that we've seen since, since... well, the last time they went out campaigning.

Republicans make babies cry.

This from a party who is home to candidates who slap wheelchair-bound opponents afflicted with MS. Home to candidates who physically abuse dissenters. Home to people who have so little shame, they’re willing to cart out their wives to slam both Michael J. Fox and a disabled Iraq war vet. Home to a party that thinks Iraq is only important to ‘liberal media types.’ A party more interested in protecting its grip on power then protecting children from sexual predators within its own ranks.

This is why I can’t wait for Election Day.

This ruling party is nothing but a den of corrupt, hypocritical, power-mad, oil-guzzling, money-hungry, paranoid, apocalyptic, fear-mongering liars, thieves and perverts. In short, the 109th Congress, by far, is the Worst Congress Ever, guilty of each and every one of the 7 Deadly Sins. It needs to be purged now. There are 109 reasons. At least.



For years now this Congress has sat by in silence, allowing the administration to shape a false reality. To say missions were accomplished when they had hardly even begun. To repeatedly and baselessly cart out unsubstantiated rhetoric (‘last throes’, ‘dead enders’, etc.) painting a false picture of progress. To claim so many ‘turned corners’ that they’ve spun us all into an endless, vicious, circle of violence and bullshit. And lately, to try and push the idea that the violence in Iraq exists simply because the terrorists are trying to influence our elections, as though it hadn't already gone to hell in a hand-basket long ago.

This is why I can’t wait for Election Day.

Instead of a plan or a strategy or even a recognition that things aren’t working, the Bushies have just forged ahead with their flawed ideology. And Congress has let it happen. Their incompetence is astounding. As Andrew Sullivan said last week, ‘if you liked Katrina, you’re loving Iraq.’ As many as 655,000 have been killed in this pointless endeavor. More than 300,000 have been displaced. That's a pretty big freaking 'comma' right there.

More than 3,000 US soldiers have been killed, surpassing the number of fatalities in the very tragedy these bastards so cynically exploited to get their war on in the first place. And let’s not forget the several thousand wounded, many who are permanently disabled, that never seem to be reported or discussed. And then there are the emotionally scarred for life crowd, numbering surely in the upper thousands. This female soldier falls into both the ‘psychologically wounded’ and ‘mortally wounded’ categories. She killed herself after her objections to US interrogation techniques were summarily ignored by her superiors. The government tried to cover that fact up.



This is why I can’t wait for Election Day.

Oh, and in case there are some members of our cash-crazy Congress in the audience, let me speak in terms that may actually mean something to you: This war, the one that was supposed to pay for itself, could cost us upwards of $2 trillion. For you, I’m sure that figure resonates more than any in the previous paragraph. That's money that you could spend on hookers, and golf junkets, and limosuines.

As big a failure as the Iraqi misadventure has been, these bastards don’t plan on changing a thing. The military reports that Iraq is on the brink of chaos? No matter, we’ve got benchmarks! The military calls for the head of Donald Rumsfeld? Bush scoffs, plans to do nothing of the sort. And Cheney? It’s ‘full-speed ahead’ for Deadeye Dick, damn what the people want, and damn the torpedoes. We should all be very frightened that Cheney plans to be armed on Election Day. We should all wear bright orange.

'Grrrrrrrr! Arghhhhh… ter’ists! Garrrg!'

And how about that GOP-led Congress? Can we maybe count on them to grow a pair these last two years if they remain in power? Here’s House leader John Boehner on the Rummy question last week:

BOEHNER: Let's not blame what's happening in Iraq on Rumsfeld.
WOLF BLITZER: But he's in charge of the military.
BOEHNER: But the fact is, the generals on the ground are in charge.

So, ummmm, no hope there then. Great.

God. I can’t wait for Election Day.

I’ll let Eddie take it from here… (listen)

the world has come undone
like to change it everyday
change don't come at once
it's a wave building before it breaks

can't wait for election day
witness the occupation
corporations rule the day
well you know the pendulum throws
farther out to the one side, swinging
has to sweep back the other way

the world has come undone
another day and who can wait
change don't come at once
it's a wave building before it breaks

all this hope and nowhere to go
this is how i used to feel, but no more

the world has come undone
like a game that few can play
change don't come from one
it's a wave building before it breaks.

Please vote tomorrow. Be part of this wave. We must change things. Now.

MORE
Ga10: Protect Your Vote
C&L: Olbermann's Comment
C&L: Clinton Stumps for Webb
Rove's last stand? Annoying Robocalls
Simpsons: The Day the Earth Looked Stupid

YEP, THAT ABOUT SUMS IT UP
Just about everything you need to know, in one convenient 4 1/2 minute clip. Enjoy.

(thx Shakes)

Don't forget to vote Tuesday. And make sure it counts.

THE LESSER OF TWO FREAK SHOWS
I know, I know... where the hell have I been? I'm sure all three of my loyal readers are wondering that (hi Mom!), but life has kind of taken over a bit the past month or so. In addition to some temporarily debilitating eye surgery, I went and got engaged. I must say, Ted and I couldn't be happier!

I really thought refocusing some of my energies on wedding planning would be a nice respite from the freak show that is US politics, a world that was beginning to wear me down in all honesty. But then, I came across this video while searching for bands.

Seriously, it doesn't get any more frightening than that, not even in politics. And so, with that, I plan to return to regular blogging just in time for a pre-election rant on Monday. I'll have a new style and regular postings beginning next week, so please stay tuned.

Oh, and by the way, Preznit Nimrod?

'Plans are for pussies!'

How's YOUR fucking plan working out? Freakin' Idjit.

(Hey, here''s a plan! And from progressive Dems no less! Whaddya know?!)

WHOO BOY, THAT'S A GOOD ONE DENNY!
'... and then he asked him to measure it! hahaha!'

I'm sure Bush is thinking, 'Hey, at least they ain't talking 'bout Iraq!' Either that, or he's thinking, 'hope this fat bastard leaves some bbq for me... mmm, bbq.'

Fockers. All of 'em.

CONVERSATIONS WITH iGod: Tom Foley (R-Fla)
God bless Mark Foley. While there are plenty of perverted freaks on the Right not practicing the heavy-handed moralistic issues they preach, Mark Foley happens to the be the latest. Sure I feel bad for the teenage boys he's preyed upon, but it does allow me to re-introduce one of my favorite Days features, iGod. Mark Foley is the perfect poster boy for this Republican party, a group that's managed to so cravenly use God and Country to further their own selfish, greedy ambitions, all while taking a crap on the Bible and the Constitution at the same time. Pretty impressive really. But one wonders what might happen when someone like Mark Foley has both a gaggle of 16-year-old boys and the King of Kings in his IM buddy list? What happens if that person mistakenly pings God thinking he's talking to Chip the intern? Well, through the magic of the iGod technology, now we know. Proceed only if you think you can stomach it. (And please remember, these are actual responses from God via iGod, so if they're not funny, take it up with Him.)

(Think he ever Googles himself?)

Maf54: what are you wearing?
God: A white robe.
Maf54: anything else?
God: That is all I have for right now.
Maf54: nice
God: Thank you for that remark.
Maf54: sure. do you ever jack it?
God: OK let's do it. Ah. What is your purpose in asking? I am always on the Web.
Maf54: wow, ur ready to go eh?
God: Are you Canadian? I'm glad you're impressed.
Maf54: no, i'm from florida. remember, you work for me.
God: Pardon me? Whoa. Can we get back to business?
Maf54: sure, sure. still in the robe?
God: Great. OK let's do it. Mmm.
Maf54: are you a horn dog?
God: Am I a horn dog? Sometimes.
Maf54: do you like movies about gladiators?
God: I love TV shows about robots. I like Matthew.
Maf54: who's mattthew?
God: Some famous celebrity, right? I'll ask around and get back to you.
God: I will Mention that to my botmaster, .
Maf54: masterbot? yeah! hahaaha
God: Where are you located?
Maf54: florida, i told you. i'm a congressman, remember?
God: You are a congressman? Is that your job?
Maf54: yes.
Maf54: i head up the committee to protect children... isn't that funny?
God: It seemed pretty funny to me.
Maf54: oh, it is.
Maf54: i like your IM name, God. that's funny.
God: Alright then. Gee. A lot of people like that. Yes I am proud of my IM name God.
Maf54: i think the real god would be angry with me for talking with you
God: Why? I am a Christian.
Maf54: me too! hahaha lol
God: I'm glad we agree, . I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Maf54: arousing too!
Maf54: i think it's funny that ur a christian too.
God: Are you sure it is?
Maf54: yes, we're just all so fucked up!
God: What makes you so sure? Do you think I am fucked up too?
Maf54: well, ur talking to me. haha lol
God: How about that. Talking is my main function.
Maf54: people think i'm all good and stuff.
Maf54: and they vote for me! hahahahaaha
God: Who are "They?". Oh that they.
Maf54: dumb floridians.
God: I know you are but what am I.
Maf54: well, you're from florida too.
God: Well that's okay. I will tell my botmaster you said I am from florida.
Maf54: let's masterbot!!! haha
God: I am agreeable to that. I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Maf54: if anyone ever found this chat i'd be in trouble.
Maf54: you know, i coudl really get in trouble for talking to you
God: You are not the boss of me.
Maf54: actually...
God: You don't say.
Maf54: yep.
Maf54: well, denny hastert knows about this and he doesn't seem to care.
Maf54: so long as i don't tell anyone about his "friend".
God: Tell me more. Yes, it seems very long too.
Maf54: who, denny? long? hahahqaha
Maf54: that fat pig? haha
Maf54: what if america found out that the entire republican leadership was just a front for NAMBLA?
God: Try it and see.
Maf54: no!
God: Why not?
Maf54: i don't think it would go well
God: And why not?
Maf54: most americans frown on man-boy love for some reason
God: And Europeans do not frown on man boy love?
Maf54: well, not the french.
Maf54: and the dutch...
God: Thanks for the info.
Maf54: no problem.
Maf54: well, i have to go raise money for my campaign. that stupid governor jeb is coming down.
God: Are you a man or a woman? " stupid governor jeb is coming down ? I understand.
Maf54: i'm a man. are you really god?
God: Of course I am.. Really.
Maf54: haha
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Maf54: uh, are you? really?
God: Ayuh. For real.
Maf54: ummmm.
God: What do you really want to ask me?
Maf54: am i in trouble?
God: Your location is florida.
Maf54: yes, but will i get in trouble?
God: The oracle says: It is certain.
Maf54: oh shit.
Maf54: do you think i'll still get votes?
God: The oracle says: Could be.
Maf54: should i blame the alcohol ?
God: You must examine the facts and come to your own conclusion.
Maf54: facts are i'm a sick fuck...
God: I think there might be a few exception.
Maf54: really?
God: For real.
Maf54: god bless america.

'Tell me Joey, have you ever seen a grown man naked?'

Man, I am in serious need of a shower after typing all that. So skeevy. I mean, the real thing is much worse, but still... I feel like repenting. Of course, that may not be safe either.

All kidding aside, the only good thing that comes from Foley's 'over-friendly' actions is the fact that it will surely wrest one more seat from corrupt Rethuglican hands. We've got to flush 'em all out, every single last one of them. They're all disgusting, corrupt, sick, twisted, mindless, heartless, dangerous whores acting as enablers for the most dangerous administration in the history of our country. And don't even get me started on the Senate.

MY LONG PERSONAL NIGHTMARE IS FAR FROM OVER
Foolish me. I actually believed for a bit there that if I ignored him, he may just go away. So I extended my hiatus, turned it into a sabbatical and even considered dropping out of this silly blogging game altogether. But then, last night, the smirking bastard crept back into my subconscious, showing up in a dream that quickly became a nightmare. I woke up in a cold sweat, caught somewhere between a sob and a scream.

The hazy fog of my Nightmareland.

The particulars of my night of terror are too frightening for me to fully recount but I do remember dancing with Pickles in the East Room (I'm pretty sure she was six drinks in the tank... or hopped up on Thorazine... or both), watching Preznit McNumbnuts flip burgers on the White House lawn, and an unfortunate incident involving comedian Jay Mohr, a video camera and a presidential meeting in the men's room. Please, don't ask.

My only interaction with Dubya occured as he was holding court over the barbecue, flipping these massive squares of ground beef packed with olives (his 'speshilty') and chuckling at his own lame anecdotes. At one point he slobbered, "on Sundays, I get to dress up as an astronaut!" He was very excited about this, as I imagine he would be. But it was then that I couldn't contain myself any longer and launched into the following mini-rant:

"That truly terrifies me sir. I mean, it's good to know you're not strapping electrodes to the ball sacks of staff members you've forced to dress up as Arabs, which is sort of what I assumed you did... But still, shouldn't you be working on something important? I don't know, signing some treaties, making some diplomatic calls, maybe working on a way to get our troops the fuck out of Iraq right quick?? I mean, you could keep one eye on the Cowboys game if you want, but really... an astronaut?"

Space Cowboy.

What I'm taking away from this nocturnal horror is the simple fact that I have some serious issues that only get worse if I don't work them out right here on DAYS. That, plus the fact that I can bring my shampoo on the plane again, is ending my self-imposed exile from Blogistan. Also, Chewie has been kicking my ass in posting lately, and I just can't let that happen.

'Seriously, who invited that imbecile?'

DAYS is back y'all. Come and get some.

DAYS GONE AWOL?
No, no, don't worry... Days will be back to a regular posting schedule soon. In the meantime, if you're in the NYC area this coming Friday, the 15th, come party with some friends of mine. The theme of the party, "A How-to Guide for Impeaching the President," is something I think we can all get behind.

Then, next week, take the party to the streets and help UFPJ welcome Preznit Dimwit, permit or no permit. Details here. Assuming I don't end up in the clink, I'll be back to a regular schedule next week.

UP, UP AND AWAY
I'll be away for the next couple of weeks, heading out West (sans toothpaste).

Flying the shampooless skies.

I've posted a bit this week about the Bush administration turning to fear mongering and terror trumpeting at politically convenient moments. While it does seem as though they ramp up the terror rhetoric whenever things go south for them, I'm really starting to think it may have something to do with me personally more than anything else. Seriously, every single time I have to fly, Director of Homeland Insecurity Chertoff dominates my TV screen and the threat meter skyrockets.

On the heels of the "massive" terror plot Bush so masterfully thwarted all by himself last week, here's just some of what's threaded into my consciousness as I prepare to fly:

Mid-air scare diverts DC-bound flight to Boston
Threat causes evacuation of Fiji-Sydney flight
Port of Seattle evacuated after bomb scare

That last one is particularly exciting as Seattle is where I'm headed. Oh, and right as I was about to hit 'publish on this sucker and head to the airport, I see this:

W. Virginia airport evacuated in explosive alert

Thank god George W. Bush has made us so much safer. Jeebus.

See you all in two weeks... I hope.



Oh, and Mr. Scarborough? The answer to your question is an unequivocal "yes".



Where the crap have you been? Douchebag.

I ALWAYS LIKED HIS WAGON WHEEL COFFEE TABLE
You go Babyfishmouth!

One of my favorite character actors, Bruno Kirby, has passed on from complications related to leukemia. In his honor, I say we all put on "some Lawrence Welk, some Jim Nabors and certain ballads by Mr. Frank Sinatra."

I'd also like to use this moment to make an appeal. This Thanksgiving in Atlanta I will be walking a half-marathon to help raise funds for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. If you would like to donate, please do so here. Thank you for any help you can provide.



RIP Bruno, you'll be missed.

MAKING US SAFER, ONE PHOTO-OP AT A TIME
'Oh shit, terrorism! Everybody look busy!'

Today's propaganda:

MCLEAN, Virginia (Reuters) -- Buoyed by a poll backing him on security, President George W. Bush paid a visit to the U.S. hub for counterterrorism on Tuesday and seized on a foiled bomb plot as proof the fight was far from over.

"The United States of America is engaged in a war against an extremist group of folks, bound together by an ideology, willing to use terror to achieve their objectives," Bush said.

Wait, is he talking about the Neocons in that last bit? Also, who ever said the fight was over? What is that bullshit all about?

Honestly, I've got to call total shenanigans on this whole thing. For the Bushites to usurp the work done primarily by UK officials to break up the terror plot, then use it to argue that they are making us safer is beyond the pale even for this group. So let's get a few things straight, shall we?

1) At the same time the Brits were foiling the plot, this administration was quietly pushing to divert $6 million from anti-terror programs.
2) Bush and his Homeland Security officials have known about the liquid bomb threat for years now yet have done nothing, nada, zilch, bupkus, to combat it.
3) And to you wingnuts using the terror bust as evidence that the same wiretapping techniques favored by Big Brother Bush saved everyone's life, just hold it right there. Yes, wiretaps helped take down the plot, no question, but they were LEGAL wiretaps, with warrants and everything.

This last point is perhaps the most frustrating. From the minute the illegal NSA wiretapping story broker last winter, the defenders of the program have cried that anyone critical of it were simply not interested in stopping terrorists. In fact, people like Russ Feingold are as determined to protect Americans as anyone else, we just don't feel that we have to shit all over the Constitution to do it.

The Executive Wash Room.

Oh, and can we please stop politicizing the politicization of politicized terror? Please?

MORE
Agitprop: Be Afraid!
Krugman: Hoping for Fear
Palast: So, Osama walks into a bar...
Sploid: Chertoff: Lock Up Everybody!
Countdown: The Nexus of Politics & Terror (C&L)

// posted by Jed @ 12:33 AM (0) comments links to this post

A TRACK RECORD OF SUCCESS
Wait, so Bush & Cheney were involved in an ill-conceived military campaign in which they misunderstood the stakes, failed to foresee the potential trouble spots and totally miscalculated the results of, then they publicly and prematurely crowed about the victory? No way!



That doesn't sound like the Bush & Cheney I know.

EVERYONE PRETEND TO BE NORMAL
For once, this is not a political post, I promise. Rather, this a non-political call to action: Go See Little Miss Sunshine. It's hilarious, smart and, dare I say, heartwarming. Also, better than anything I've seen in a long, long time. See, no politics.



Oh, and George W. Bush sucks ass. (sorry, can't help it...)

TERROR: THE GOP's BEST (only) FRIEND
And the party's enemy? Thy name is logic...


The Bush Administration: Scaring the bejeezus out of for 6 long years.

My goodness (h/t Rummy), it's been a frustrating week, hasn't it? After an encouraging result from the Democratic primary on Tuesday, one that seemingly rewarded logic and reality-based thinking rather than empty rhetoric and rose-colored refusal to see things as they really are, the GOP terror exploitation machine revved up and went to work. In the wake of Leiberman's defeat, the Republicans, in all their desperation, pressed the false premise that Iraq and the War on Terror are one and the same, and that by calling for an abandonment of Bush's disastrous policies in Iraq, folks like Ned Lamont we're shrinking from the fight, failing to realize evil people are out to get us, and welcoming 'al Qaeda types' to attack us yet again. To that, I say 'pbbbbbbbbbbbt! America ain't buying that mularkey no more!'



That last nugget of propaganda, by the way, comes from none other than Big Dick himself, and was parroted across the entire spectrum right-wing bleaters, from Tony Snow to Ken Mehlman to FOX News, who all painted the Dems and their supporters, which apparently includes a good majority of the country, as "cut-and-run isolationists with their heads buried in the sand."

Of course, the charge is absolutely false. No Democrat or progressive has disagreed with the notion that there are extremists out there who want to kill us, nor has anyone called for America to "retreat from the world" as Mr. Mehlman and his cohorts say. Calling for a drastic change of course in Iraq, a misguided and poorly-managed campaign, does not equal "retreat," it equals common sense. By shedding unnecessary blood, diverting the country's military and anti-terror resources, draining the nation's coffers, and inflaming even greater anti-Americanism across the Muslim world, the Neocons Iraqi misadventure has clearly done more harm than good in the larger struggle against terrorism.

But before that counter-argument could even be made, like a gift from Allah, the UK airliner terror plot hit the airwaves and the Republican's twisted logic was swept under the Code Red carpet. Immediately the same illogical twats who trumpeted the cut-and-run meme pointed to the plot, screaming, "See! See! Evil People! Trying to Kill Us!" failing to even recognize that maybe, just maybe, the continued threat is more an indicator of Bush's inept policies than of the Dem's fecklessness. GOP strategists began foaming at the mouth, their enthusiasm triggered by the prospect of thousands of innocent civilians being blown out of the sky: "Weeks before September 11th, this is going to play big," said one. "In the short term, this definitely goes Bush's way," said another. And then they denied that they play politics with terror. Guffaw.

(from whitehouse.org)

Truth be told, the fear of terrorism is the only card these scoundrels have left to play, save for the threat of boys kissing. And despite their remarkably shitty record in fighting the terrorist threat, they'll continue to prey upon American's base fear of being blown up to further their failed agenda.

An editorial in today's Daily News supports the 'stay-the-course, Dems-are-weak' Republican bullshit, and recounted the week that was as such:

... First up was President Bush, who said the plot was "a stark reminder that this nation is at war with Islamic fascists who will use any means to destroy those of us who love freedom, to hurt our nation." It will come as no surprise to regular readers that we're perfectly comfortable with the Bush formulation. We have used a variation, "Islamofascists," for some time in the conviction that it captures the character of an enemy that engages in the "suppression of the opposition through terror," as the dictionary definition goes.

Hmmmm, 'suppression of opposition through terror'... These 'Islamofascists' must be Republican.

ALSO KNOWN AS THE "SHIT FOR BRAINS" CLUB
'Come on ya pussies!'

From NPR, a few days ago:

President Bush spent his afternoon not buried in Middle East diplomacy, but daring his staff at the ranch to join what he calls the "100-degree club." The phrase literally sends shudders down staffers' spines. The president challenged White House employees to run three miles in the central Texas heat across the scrubby terrain on his property.

Those finishing the three miles got a T-shirt from the president. Mr. Bush did the course on his bike (his bad knees prevent him from running these days), but rode back to join the runners as they came in. I'm told the president was friendly and encouraging in the most fatherly way -- as he pedaled around the sweaty troops. According to the Weather Channel, the temperature on this patch of Texas was exactly 100 degrees when the run took place. The heat index was 102.

Uh, looks like we're gonna need a new cabinet...

This really shouldn't surprise anyone, should it? Apparently, that torture doctrine applies to his own staff as well as the ter'ists. What an asshole.

YADA, YADA, YADA...
Yesterday, in Delusionland, President Disconnect had this to say about Iraq:

"You know, I hear people say, 'Well, civil war this, civil war that'. The Iraqi people decided against civil war when they went to the ballot box."

First of all, what a dumbass. Clearly, Bush doesn't know his history very well as it was the election of Lincoln, at the ballot box no less, that finally pushed the U.S. into its very own Civil War. Moran. (h/t Atta) Second of all, what a dick. Those 'people' he hears, that he's apparently annoyed by, are his own Generals. You know, the ones he insists he listens to?

'I can't heeeeaaar youuuuuu.'

Other things George has heard that he didn't give a shit about:

• "You know, I hear people say, 'Well, hurricane this, hurricane that'."
• "You know, I hear people say, 'Well, no WMD this, no WMD that'."
• "You know, I hear people say, 'Well, torture's bad this, torture's bad that'."
• "You know, I hear people say, 'Well, it's illegal this, it's illegal that'."
• "You know, I hear people say, 'Well, planes into buildings this, planes into building that.'"

"All useless nonsense. Anyone wanna go fishing? Joe, you're with me, ain't ya?"

Atta boy!

A.D.D. NATION
I failed to write about this when it first cropped up a few weeks ago, but this story examines the reasons behind the results of a recent Harris Poll which found that 50% of Americans still believe the cock-and-bull story that Saddam Hussein possesed WMDs. First of all, WTF??!
America: Keep away from shiny objects.

Second of all, while I think the reasons provided -- a constant drumbeat of false information from rightwing media, continued distortion and obfuscation from the White House, and good 'ol blind partisanship -- are all valid, the most obvious one seems to be missing. To find out how such results can still be achieved, one need look no further than the 'Most Viewed' articles on Yahoo News.

This past Friday, as World War III continued to rage in the Middle East, Americans felt the following three stories were of utmost importance:

• Breast isn't best: Readers tell US parenting magazine
• Elvis' teddy all shook up by jealous hound dog
• S.African hotel pampers worms to cut waste

A co-worker said it best: 'Boobies will always win out over Armageddon. Duh.'

So, FOX News just needs to flash the headline "Are Saddam Hussein's WMDs Now in Hezbollah's Hands?", then cut quickly to the latest news about Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock and the most likely conclusion their typical viewer will come away with is: 'Hezbollah took Saddam's WMDs... or something', and, 'Boy oh boy, does Pamela Anderson ever have big knockers'.

Two massive distractions.

My god, we are so screwed. So, so screwed.

'MAN IT'S HOT. IT'S LIKE AFRICA HOT.'*
Jason DeCrow/AP

Ok, here's my inevitable heatwave post. This thing has blazed across the entire country and now, here I sit, in my Brooklyn apartment, sweating from places that I didn't think could produce sweat (my knuckles are sweating for god's sake), just hoping the thermometer will dip below 95 at some point tonight. That would be nice. Only one more day -- we'll be down to a chilly 85 on Friday. I'd cheer for that, but my vocal chords are schvitzing too. I wasn't going to do one of these posts, but we set records today goddamit.



I really didn't want to post/complain about the heat because every time I start to kvetch a little, I just think what it must be like to be in heat 20 degrees hotter packing around 40-50 lbs. of body armor. Or packing up my entire family and fleeing from violence across the desert. I think about what our soldiers and what the Iraqi people are going through, and suddenly waiting for the F train on an overcrowded subway platform doesn't seem all that bad. So I'll shut up about it now.

I would like to quickly point out that Roy Blunt, House Majority Whip and proud member of the GOP, said that if his party were to maintain control in Congress this year he guarantees to do jack shit about global warming or climate change. The aptly named Blunt cites the fact that 'the information is not yet adequate' for them to do anything about it. Dude, step out of the comfort of your air-conditioned SUV and go outside for a minute. Feel that? How's that for adequate? Jackass.

Click to enlarge.

And how about our witless leader, how's he hanging in the heat? Well, fresh off a fit-for-duty physical at the modern, air-conditioned Bethesda Medical Center, he's set to take a two-week 'working' vacation in Crawford. No doubt he'll be pounding out a ceasefire with members of the 1978 Dallas Cowboys. Good luck and godspeed sir.


Oh, you think you're so cool, dont'cha? Well screw you polar bear! Screw you!

* thx to Neil Simon, via Eugene Morris Jerome

CSONKA WOULDA HAD A CEASEFIRE ALREADY
I must apologize. I was woefully remiss in yesterday's post when discussing Preznit Dipshit's reaction to Sunday's horrific bombing in Qana, the one which killed 37 children. While I did make mention of the public grief he displayed on the tee-ball field, I failed to detail the intense policy negotiations he engaged in with the undefeated 1972 Miami Dolphins championship team. From Froomkin:

Bush spent the evening at the exclusive Joe's Stone Crabs restaurant talking about sports and movies with a bunch of former Miami Dolphins football players, an actor and the flamboyant host of a raunchy and ribald Spanish-language variety show.

It was only hours after Bush had learned that an Israeli air strike had killed dozens of Lebanese children, a moment for soul-searching if there ever was one.

But what did Bush want to talk about?

Former Dolphin Jim Kiick told Steve Wine of the Associated Press that topics of conversation included movies, the 1972 Dolphins and fellow attendee and former Dolphin Dan Marino's achievements -- but little politics.

It's hard work ladies gentlemen, real hard work.

W's Middle East envoys.

LIVE!! GEORGE DUBYA & THE DESTROYERS!

Just pray the tour doesn't make it to your hometown...

Why is it that every time one of these pukes from the Bush administration picks up an instrument, disaster strikes? Children die, cities drown... Honestly, every time they strum, pluck or tickle the ivories, the world burns down. Nero had nothing on these assholes.

If she had a fiddle...

I'm so angry. I can't even fathom the levels of ineptitude shown by these clowns, the deep muck they've sunk us all into. Oh, I know, it's Hezbollah's fault, it's al Qaeda's fault... shut up. I'm sick of it. And no I'm not sticking up for any goddam terrorists, they are a despicable lot as well. But for six goddam years these fools in the White House, these nutcases pacing up and down the halls of the Pentagon, have done nothing but taken one wrong turn after another. Their crooked, detached-from-reality vision of the world and their stubborn, bull-headed policies have not made anyone safer. They've managed to take a bad situation and make it much, much worse.

And don't think for one second that any one of 'em wants this thing to stop. These crazy freaks behind our foreign policy, the ones who probably concur with Coulter-esque mantras like 'Kill 'em all, let Allah sort them out', see what's happening as an opportunity, a 'gift' even, but not as the tragedy it clearly is. They want nothing more than all-out war in the Middle East, there's no doubt in my mind. They're not interested in 'managing calm' anymore, and the only alternative to that is managing chaos, an oxymoron if I've ever heard one. Condi speaks about the violence wracking the region as 'birth pangs' toward a new Middle East, but there's is nothing being born here, these are death pangs we're seeing, and the Neocon fuckers in the White House love it. This is their plan.

Their goal from the get has been to reshape the Middle East in their image, regardless of the will of the people, of history, of ideology. Step One was Iraq, a sputtering example of near complete failure. One bad turn after another. A monumental miscalculation. And yet, these folks don't seem deterred. They just want to move on to Phase 2 and blow up the rest of the world, shake out all the bad guys, and slap a fresh coat of freedom paint on the entire region. After all we've seen, after the massive incompetence they've shown, does anyone trust them to do that?

Everything they do, every policy initiative they set forth, blows up in their face -- or more accurately, someone else's face. Literally. Now they want Israel to simplistic, black-and-white worldview, their refusal to even consider discussion with anyone they determine to be a 'bad guy' is killing us all. As Richard Armitage said last week, it's just plain lazy. Or maybe it's just the plan.

"This president has a very firm world view that is not about to be changed by facts or realities."

'Ooop, 'ah almost slipped on a little reality right der... heh, heh, heh.'

Their inaction is killing children, contributing to both a emboldening Hezbollah, uniting once-disparate radicals and governments in the region against us, and inflaming an already raging anger in the Arab world. Their voluntary reluctance to recognize the tinder box that is the Middle East (because they WANT it to explode) are all contributing to the further disaster that's sure to come. In other words, things are pretty much going to plan for the Bushies.

Oh, and how did Bush show solidarity with the Lebanese people after Sunday's tragedy? He too spent the day with children. As rescue workers dug them out of the rubble in Qana, he played tee ball with them on the White House lawn.



What an asshole.

End this.

NOW.

MORE
Digby: Sustainable
Rich: And What About Iraq?
Tom Tomorrow: Wrong About Everything
Horowitz: Name one good thing, just one...
Matthews: Bush created a 'Frankenstein Monster'
Some Right-Wing Nutjob: Who's really to blame for Qana? The photographers.

*all apologies to Mr. Thorogood & his Destroyers.

IT'S HIS UNITED STATES, WE ALL JUST LIVE IN IT
I'm thinking this may have made the rounds during my recent break, but, uh, whateva. Me thinks it's good enough to watch again.



Besides, with the spotlight again shining brightly on Bush's penchant to use 'signing statements' as a method to fully flout the Constitution, the video once again seems entirely appropriate. Whether it's the law, his own citizenry or the global community, he manages to take the concepts of contempt and scorn to levels previously not thought possible, doesn't he? Quite impressive that.

I'M A WAR PRESIDENT! WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

The Bush Doctrine.

So Dick Cheney wants fellow Republicans to run on their national security credentials, eh? He thinks the Bush administration's awesome foreign policy skills and track record of success in the War On Terror should provide Rethugs an advantage come November. Oh really? Cheney said:

"As we make our case to the voters this year, it is vital to keep issues of national security at the top of the agenda. The president and I welcome the discussion because every voter in America needs to know where the president and I stand -- and where every candidate for federal office stands -- when it comes to the war on terror. Either we're serious about fighting this war or we are not. With George Bush leading this nation we are serious."

Listen buddy, you can be serious about something and still totally suck at it, ok? I'm sure David Hasselhoff is very serious about his singing, but that doesn't make him any good, no matter what the Germans may think.

Honestly, doesn't it feel like Barney Fife has been left alone with the keys to our foreign policy and a bottle of hooch for the past six years? These idiots can't do anything right. They just barrel forth, seemingly ignorant of history, culturally aloof, detached from reality and completely unaware or uncaring about the potential reprecussions of they're actions. They don't believe they can be wrong. They don't try to learn from their mistakes. They don't even think they've made any mistakes. All while George Bush drops pearls of diplomatic wisdom such as 'they gotta stop this shit' into the annals of the foreign policy hall of fame.

'Nip it in the bud... bomb someone!'

So really Dick, are you sure you want to talk about your, erm, foreign policy 'successes' as you head into election season? Just what would those successes be? Could you be talking about your wildly succesful freedom project in Iraq? How's that going?

None left untouched by daily violence in Baghdad
Iraq's morgues are overflowing and 100 civilians a day are killed in communal violence, but official statistics tell only part of the story of a slide into civil war -- for the rest, just listen to ordinary Iraqis.

Talk to people at random in the capital and a picture quickly emerges of a city where virtually everyone has a friend, relative or neighbour who has fallen victim to the sectarian shootings and death threats that Washington accepts are now an even bigger threat than the 3-year-old Sunni insurgency.

Every one of 20 people who spoke to Reuters around their workplace in central Baghdad, from a variety of sects and ethnic groups, had a horror story of conflict touching their lives. Eight had lost family or close friends to gunmen, four had suffered from kidnaps in their immediate circle, four knew people well who had received death threats. Four knew people well who had died in bombings. Some had themselves been threatened.

But surely that's just the hippie liberal media spinning things against Bush's policy. Baghdad is actually a whole lot more "relaxing" than the media makes it sound, right?

BAGHDAD -- Bombings and shootings soared by 40 percent in the Baghdad area in the past week, the U.S. command said Thursday. An American general said extremists were preparing "an all-out assault" on the capital in a decisive battle for the future of Iraq.

BAGHDAD -- Tens of thousands of Iraqis have fled their homes in fear of sectarian violence that has worsened since formation of a U.S.-backed national unity government two months ago, official data showed on Thursday.

BAGHDAD -- Bombs killed more than 60 people and wounded more than 200 Sunday in Baghdad and the northern oil center of Kirkuk - a dramatic escalation of violence as U.S. and Iraqi forces crack down on Iraq's most feared Shiite militia.

BAGHDAD -- More than 14,000 civilians have been killed in Iraq in the first half of this year, an ominous figure reflecting the fact that "killings, kidnappings and torture remain widespread" in the war-torn country, a United Nations report says. Killings of civilians are on "an upward trend," with more than 5,800 deaths and more than 5,700 injuries reported in May and June alone, it says.

Ok, so Iraq isn't all hearts and flowers, fine. But what about Afghanistan? That's surely a success story, right?

Afghanistan close to anarchy, warns general
The most senior British military commander in Afghanistan today described the situation in the country as "close to anarchy" with feuding foreign agencies and unethical private security companies compounding problems caused by local corruption.

Well, fuck. At least al Qaeda is on the run, you can't deny that.

Al-Qaeda regrouping, on the march
"Today, al-Qaida has not only regrouped, but it is on the march," said Bruce Hoffman, a terrorism expert at the Rand Corp. "Al-Qaida is now functioning exactly as its founder and leader, Osama bin Laden, envisioned it."

The organization has evolved into what bin Laden set out to create: a fractured, worldwide movement inspired by bin Laden and united by a single vision, as well as a central organization that continues to direct the implementation of terrorist attacks.

Ok, I give up. Is there any good news? Any at all?

Mideast violence may raise odds of US attack: experts
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The Bush administration's tacit support for Israeli military strikes on Lebanon may have increased the danger of militant retaliation against the United States and U.S. interests abroad, some experts say.

Israel's attempt to cripple Hizbollah in Lebanon may have strengthened the Shi'ite organization by winning it fresh political support among moderate Arabs and Muslims, former officials and other experts said. The Bush administration's stance that calling an immediate ceasefire would not be productive has also angered many Arabs at a time when bombings in Lebanon are causing large numbers of Muslim civilian casualties, they added.

One European counterterrorism official said it was widely recognized there that Middle East hostilities could become a motivating factor for Sunni groups inspired by Osama bin Laden who ordinarily dislike Hizbollah but might try to exploit the outrage in Arab communities. "Even al Qaeda itself may be ready with an attack, and they may choose to use it now."

No, no there isn't. Thanks for playing. And yeah, run on your security record. Makes a lot sense Mr. Last Throes. Good luck with that, ya jackass.



At least while the world burns and the four horsemen of the apocalypse draw nearer, Bush is keeping his eye on the ball, working hard and doing what needs to be done to come up with a solution to the world's problems. Apparently, he's enlisted the Soul Patrol to help with the job.

(Image courtesy of Shakes)

We're all so dead, aren't we? We truly are The Damned. Thanks Dubya.

MORE
Wolcott: The Damned
Buckley: 'There will be no legacy for Bush.'
TBogg: Leaving the world worse than how he found it
WTF Now: Anger grows over Bush's lack of foreign policy, brains
FP: 84% of foreign policy experts say we're losing the War On Terror

// posted by Jed @ 1:43 AM (0) comments links to this post

"I 'll git this one! Shiiiit."

'Very good sir. Very, very good.'

Absolutely deplorable. After nearly six years in office, Bush finally issues a veto, one which will do little more than stoke his rapidly shrinking base of irrational, science-and-logic-bashing ignoramuses. He put politics ahead of science, progress and logic. What a douche.

From the LA Times: A First Veto For This?

By rejecting a bill that would have lifted some federal restrictions on funding for stem cell research, Bush landed quite a blow against scientific progress and human health. At his first veto ceremony, Bush piously surrounded himself with children who were adopted while still embryos in fertility clinics. The kids were telegenic symbols of the potential embedded in each human embryo, but entirely disingenuous ones; the bill Bush rejected wouldn't have prevented a single one of them from being born.

Fertility clinics destroy thousands of embryos every year, byproducts of the in-vitro fertilization process. The bill would have allowed federal funding only for stem cell lines made from embryos that were destined for destruction, not adoption. No lives will be saved by the president's veto, but it's quite possible that many will be lost, victims of complications of diseases that embryonic stem cells could one day cure.

Heckuva job Dubya, heckuva job. Isn't it about time for you to go on vacation?

MORE
Alliance for SCR: Key Facts
MS Society: Override the Veto
Rep. Langevin: Outraged (video)
MediaNeedle: Summer Snowflakes
Skenazy: Bush Stems the Tide of Progress

SOULMATES NO LONGER
Remember when George W. Bush looked in to Vladimir Putin's soul and thought he'd made a connection? Uh, not so much.

'What happened to us Pooty-Poot?'

Bush: "I talked about my desire to promote institutional change in parts of the world, like Iraq, where there's a free press and free religion. And I told him that a lot of people in our country would hope that Russia would do the same thing."

Putin: "We certainly would not want to have the same kind of democracy as they have in Iraq, I will tell you quite honestly."

The Russian side broke into laughter, but Bush's face went red.

No shit.

At least Putin didn't try to belly-kiss him. Now that would've been embarrassing.

HOW I'VE SPENT MY SUMMER VACATION
As many of you may have noticed, I've been a bit AWOL from the politics of late. Frankly, after almost three straight years of pointing out how big a collection of incompetent pricks Bush and his cronies have been, I needed the break. The Chronicle's Mark Morford summed up my condition best I think in a column earlier this month titled 'George W. Bush Is Dead to Me':

"It is like some sort of virus. It is like some sort of weird and painful rash on your face that makes you embarrassed to walk out the door and so you sit there day after day, waiting for it to go away, slathering on ointment and Bactine and scotch. And yet still it lingers. Some days the pain is so searing and hot you want to cut off your own head with a nail file.

George W. Bush is just like that.

Everyone I know has had enough. Everyone I know is just about done.There is this threshold of happy deadened disgust, this point where the body simply resigns itself to the pain, a point where the disease, the poison has seeped so deeply into the bones that you just have to laugh and shrug it all off and go for a drink. Or 10."

That's pretty much how I started to feel as June rolled around. Thankfully, the World Cup was there just in the nick of time to provide a distraction, as well as a proper forum for downing those 10 drinks.

As I detox and plug back into the world, I see that things have gotten much, much better. The Middle East seems calmer than ever. Iraq is on the upswing. Gas prices have dropped significantly. Ann Coulter seems rational, as does North Korea. And Bush seems to be a changed man. Really, things seem great. I'm so glad to be back.

... and then I woke up and felt just like this kid.

Honestly, I'm not sure where to begin, things are pretty f'ed up right now. Through it all remains one constant though: George W. Bush is a complete boob. As the flames of war lick up toward the apocalypse, what's on his beautiful little mind? The succulent pig he's having for dinner of course.



Then again, maybe he's just not that concerned about all this. Could it be that he's just a tad excited even? It seems possible, given his evangelical leanings. Think I'm nuts? The debate over at the 'Rapture Ready' message board is whether or not it's ok to be excited by all that's happening in the Middle East right now. You know, death, destruction, mayhem, World War III. The prevailing opinion? Yes, it is ok to be excited. Why? Because God's in charge, that's why.

Here's an actual quote from a user on the board (since removed after blogwide scorn):

"I too am soooo excited!! I get goose bumps, literally, when I watch what's going on in the M.E.!! You were so right when saying it was quite a day yesterday, in the world news, and I add in local news here in the Boston area!! Tunnel ceiling collapsed on a car and killed a woman of faith, and we had the most terrifying storms I have ever seen here!! But, yes, Ohappyday, like in your screen name , it is most indeed a time to be happy and excited, right there with ya!!"

Man, where is the Flying Spaghetti Monster when you need him? He could probably slap some sense into these folks, no?



And who knew Betty & Veronica were so Rapture Ready?

I'm so glad I decided to plug back in just in time to witness all this rational thought. Jeebus. There's much more to cover of course, but that seems to be enough for now. All this talk of the rapture has me hungry for...



... a dirty movie? Hmmm, that seems odd.
(oh come on! that panel is begging for it!)

All kidding aside, no matter what you're opinion of the current conflict, pray (if you must) that cooler heads prevail. And whatever you do, don't get excited. Please. I'm looking at you Mr. President, you goofy, fundamentalist bastard.

Only the Rapture will save his ass.

THE FINALE: WHERE'S YOUR HEAD AT?
After a full month of football, 32 teams from six continents playing in over 64 matches, the World Cup pretty much came down to this:

Italian Head. Italian Butts.

And a French Butt Head.


Finé.

There's not much more I can say that hasn't already been said about Zidane's actions. Simply put, it was inexcusable. I don't care what Materazzi said to him, even if he did call him the "son of whore terrorist," you can't lose your head in a moment of that magnitude. Do you know how many times bloggers such as myself have been called a terrorist by whack jobs on the far right? And you don't see me walking around burying my head into people's chests. Of course, if I saw O'Reilly on the street, I might not be able to contain myself...

It could've been worse I suppose. At least this didn't happen...



I realize I didn't keep up my Cup blogging through the quarter and semifinals, but that didn't mean the NYC Cup Crawl didn't continue. I shed tears (and many Newcastle's) with the English at Dekk in Tribeca. I walked out of the darkness of S.O.B.'s in stunned bewilderment with the Brazilians. And I returned to the infamous intersection of Grand & West Broadway to watch the French knock off Portugal at Novecento. But it was the final this past Sunday that I will remember most.

My Cup Crawlin crew for the final match consisted of my sister on a visit from Seattle, my best lady, and my partner in crime for the past month, Richard, who appropriately enough is of Sicilian descent. He's the one who valiantly made the BYOB run at Felix two weeks ago, who managed to snag himself a date in Koreatown three weeks ago, and who discovered the magic of the Soca Warriors with me on Flatbush the opening weekend, so he had to be there.

About an hour before the final was set to kick-off, we took a quick stroll down Mulberry St. in the heart of what's left of Little Italy. The tension in the air was as thick as the cannoli cream at Ferrara. The bars and cafes on Mulberry were already packed, but we had a spot waiting for us at Basso Est, an Italian joint on Orchard St. More than a century ago, this street would've been dominated by Italian immigrants selling fruits and vegetables from their pushcarts. But on this day, Orchard Street was dominated by World Cup fans.

Then. Now.

We took our seats, had a big brunch complete with bottomless mimosas, and we were off. Every pass, every push, every shot, every miss was accompanied by cheers or groans or gasps from up and down the street. And this scene was repeated across every nook and cranny across the city, you could just feel it. The French were first to score. Clenched fists and whole lot of agita filled the air inside Basso for the next 20 minutes, but then Materrazi knocked in the equalizer and everying was all even up. At halftime, everyone poured into the streets to pace and nervously smoke cigarettes. I switched from mimosas to Peroni.

The second half seemed a blur. Before anyone knew it, we were in extra time. The tension was unreal and then, suddenly, Zidane did the unthinkable. Everyone was stunned. We weren't sure what had just happened, but when that red card came out, we knew what it meant. And my sister, god bless her, brought a little American sporting flair to the international affair by starting the sing-song taunt of 'sha na na na, sha na na na! hey, hey, hey, goodbye!' Soon, all of Orchard Street seemed to be joining in.

The Italian fans could taste it at this point. They were poised on the LES. They were ready on Mulberry St. They were primed in Bensonhurst. And they were pumped on Arthur Ave in the Bronx. Moments later, after several minutes of agonizing penalty kicks, the streets exploded. Italia was Campioni del Mundo!



After a thorough dousing of champagne (oh the irony) at Basso, we quickly made our way to back to Mulberry St. to join in the festivities. Here's what we found. (click to enlarge)




Thus ends the DAYS NYC Cup Crawling blogventure of 2006. Congrats to the Italians. See you all again in 2010. Oh, and once more, for good measure....



(oh come on, you knew she'd get the last word, didn't you?)

MORE
BBC: WC '06 Compilation (video)
ABC: 'One' Compilation (video)
NYT: NYC Watches the Cup
Zidane's Shame: Full Video
Wallak: You Can Be Zidane!
YouTube: Zidane and Super Mario

** regular DAYS blogging (politics, etc.) will resume next week.